The Insights of a Grandmother

Becoming a grandmother is a beautiful thing.  At first, I struggled with the thought of being called “grandma”, but probably not for the reason you are thinking.  grandmotherYou see, I had put everything into being a good mother.  I have enjoyed every minute of being a mom, from the months of pregnancy, to each child’s adulthood.  (Ok, I can’t fool you – it wasn’t ALL fun and games!)  From the time I held each of my newborn children, my heart swelled with pride and love.  Afterall, it was I who helped to create this beautiful little creature.  So perfect – from head to toe, and it was my duty to love and protect them.  I took this job very seriously.

And Then They Grow Up

As they grew up, I noticed they didn’t “need” me as much as I wanted them to.  I had become dependent upon mothering – the nurturing process, teaching, protecting, supporting, loving.  After my divorce, especially, I began to realize that there was a void in my heart that I couldn’t replace.  My children had moved on to other relationships and adventures.  Although I know the bond of love was still there, I began to feel as though they had moved out of my life.  Like any broken relationship, my heart ached.  I was committed to allowing them their freedom, yet I yearned for more.  More time – more visits, more phone calls….there were never enough.  (And just why do adult “kids” think an occasional text message is ok?)

grandmother

It hit me like a ton of bricks to realize that I had done such a good job of parenting, they no longer “needed” me.  And so…….I also pursued other things.  I tried to ignore the fact that it was no longer my business to know where they were and what they were up to at all times.

A New Era – Becoming a Grandmother

The years passed, high school and college done.  New relationships – new jobs – marriage – and then……….that phone call.  You guessed it – the announcement that I was going to be a grandmother.  Breathless.  Heart beating faster.  A mixture of happiness and anxiety.  And yet – here it was – my baby…..going to have a BABY!  After the initial shock wears off – I have a vision of myself as a GRANDMOTHER.  Aren’t grandmothers supposed to have white hair?  A Bun?  Wrinkles?  Not me, no way – I’m NOT going to be called GRANDMA!

And then – all those precious memories as a new mother come flooding back.  When that newborn is placed in my arms, I can feel the tears well up in my eyes.  Perfection.  Beautiful flawless baby skin.  Tiny fingers and toes – 10 of each!  Suddenly I am good with being called “grandma” to this beautiful bundle of joy.  I swell with pride in knowing that my child will now experience the many joys (and let’s face it – some sorrows) of parenthood.

grandmotherA Grandmother’s Pride

I am so proud of my son and daughter as I watch them fall into their role as parents.  And their babies – oh how precious they are.  I begin to receive more phone calls, text messages, and invitations to visit.  Oh yes……….my children are beginning to understand the importance of family.  I, as well, am beginning to understand the process.  You see, we are not to remain in the same role for our entire life.  Our creator has this all figured out.  Once childless, then fulfilled (and busy!) by raising your own children.  And then…………you get to start all over again with grandchildren.

I wouldn’t have traded any of this for any reason.  I enjoyed raising my children – and I treasure the many memories in my heart.  Now I get to watch them create their own memories.  And oh……the benefits of being a grandma!

And so I’ve learned…………I’ve learned through my mistakes, I’ve learned through my own children. And now I’m learning through my grandchildren – life is precious.  It should be fun.  Seize every moment of everyday.  Enjoy the simple pleasures.  Stay in touch with family.  Love without limits.